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One of the key features of any successful wedding is making
sure that all those involved are happy and familiar with their
role and the part they are expected to play.
In order to help achieve this we have put together a summary
below, of the key wedding roles, and the activities expected
from those carrying out hose rolesin a traditional wedding.
:: The Best Man
One of the main duties of the Best Man is organising the
all important ' stag night' prior to the wedding. On the actual
wedding day itself or the reception, he may be called upon
to help with deliveries/pickups and other general organisation
matters.
Traditionally the most difficult part of the day for most
best man is the dreaded speeches. This is not surprising considering
it is highly likely you will find yourself in the unusual
position of addressing (and wanting to impress) a large crowd
of people (some who'll know you, some won't). With the added
pressure of having a vide camera pointing at you, it's not
suprising that most best men often feel a little nervous.
One of the best tips we can give you, is try and put things
in prespective, and remember that your audience will actually
be rooting for you and will generally be willing to laugh
at even the weakest of jokes!
Main duties are as follows:
6 Months before...
- Discuss the wedding plans with the bride, groom and chief
bridesmaid.
- Help to choose the ushers and explain their duties to
them.
4 Months before...
- Organise the stag party.
- Prepare your speech for the reception.
- Provide the Ushers with a list of close family members
who should have special seating arrangements at the ceremony.
- If necessary, visit the ceremony and the reception venues
with the bride and groom to check on timings, parking arrangements
etc.
1 Week before...
- Attend the wedding rehearsal.
- Make sure groom has all the necessary documents for both
ceremony and honeymoon. (ie/ passports/ flight tickets etc).
- Arrange transport for yourself and the groom to ceremony.
- Arrange transport to and from the reception.
- If required, arrange going away car for the bride and
groom from the reception.
- Liaise with the ushers on the final arrangements.
- Make a note of details and availability of emergency
taxi companies.
- Finalise and rehearse speech.
- Consider having a hair cut
1 Day before...
- Arrange to collect any hired clothing and accessories.
- Wash car if driving to the ceremony.
- Organise decorations for the going away car.
On the day...
- Drive groom to ceremony
- Hold bride’s ring until the appropriate point in
the ceremony
- Give payment check to the officiant either just before
or just after the ceremony (the money is customarily provided
by the groom and his family)
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:: The Chief Bridesmaid
The 'Chief Bridesmaid' is usually close friend or sister
of the bride. If however she is already married herself or
if the bride is a widow and is re-marrying, she becomes known
as the 'Matron of Honour'. One of her key roles is to liaise
closely with the bride during all the wedding preparations
and help look after the other bridesmaids, flower girl and
page boys.
Main duties are as follows:
6 Months before...
- Meet with the bride, groom and best man to discuss the
arrangements.
4 Months before...
- Help the bride to choose her dress and the bridesmaids
dresses.
3 Months before...
- Help the bride with addressing envelopes, recording wedding
gifts, shopping, and other important pre-wedding tasks.
1 Week before...
- Attend the wedding rehearsal.
1 Day before...
- Arrange to collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day...
- Make sure bouquets are ready for the bride, bridesmaids
and flower girl.
- Help bride with her hair, make-up and dress.
- Help the other bridesmaids, flower girl and page boys
get dressed. Give them any final instructions on their duties.
- Leave for ceremony (normally around 15 minutes before
the bride).
At the ceremony...
- Arrange the bride's dress and veil.
- Follow the bride and her father up the aisle (accompanied
by the best man).
- Help the bride arrange her train and veil at the altar
- Hold the bride's bouquet during the ceremony.
- Witness the signing of the register if required.
- Leave the church after the bride and groom (accompanied
by the best man).
- Depart for the reception after the bride and groom (with
any other bridesmaids and best man).
At the reception...
- Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
- Help to display and record gifts received.
- Distribute slices of the wedding cake to the guests.
- Have the first dance with the best man.
Afterwards...
- Help the bride change clothes after the reception
- Take charge of the bridal gown after the wedding
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:: The Bridesmaids
A bridesmaid is usually a close friend of the bride, or a
sister of either the bride or groom.. Older bridesmaids may
wish to liaise with the bride and chief bridesmaid during
the wedding preparations and help with the choice of dresses.
Younger ones will not be expect to take an active part in
the planning stage.
6 Months before...
- Discuss the plans with the bride, groom, best man and
chief bridesmaid
1 Week before...
- Attend the wedding rehearsal.
1 Day before...
- Arrange to collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day...
- Receive any final instructions from the chief bridesmaid.
- Get dressed and help any younger attendants.
- Leave for ceremony (around 15 minutes before bride).
At the ceremony...
- Follow behind the chief bridesmaid or matron of honour
up the aisle.
- Leave church after chief bridesmaid.
- Depart for reception with chief bridesmaid and any other
bridesmaids.
At the reception...
- Stand in the receiving line and greet the guests.
- Distribute slices of the wedding cake to the guests.
Afterwards...
- Return any hired clothing and accessories.
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:: The Ushers
The ushers are chosen by the groom and his best man and are
usually friends, brothers or relatives of the bride and groom.
As a general guide you will need one usher for every 50 guests.
Generally it is the responsibility of the best man to ensure
the ushers are aware of their duties.
6 Months before...
- Make arrangements for purchase/ hire of clothes and agree
who will pay for them.
1 Week before...
- Confirm final travel arrangements with the best man and
any other ushers, including the time of arrival at the church
or register office.
- Obtain list of those guests requiring a personal escort
to their seats from the best man..
- Attend the wedding rehearsal if required.
- Consider having a hair-cut.
- Obtain large umbrellas
1 Day before...
- Collect any hired clothing and accessories.
On the day...
- Collect buttonholes and order of service sheets from the
brides home.
- Arrive at the church at least half an hour before the
ceremony is due to start.
At the ceremony...
- Help with car parking facilities
- Greet the guests and hand out the buttonholes, order of
service sheets, maps to reception etc.
- Ensure the officiant has order of service sheets for the
bride and groom.
- Seat couples with young babies and children near the exit.
- Escort the brides mother and appropriate guests to their
seats.
- Assist the photographer.
- Ensure the church is left tidy and check for any left
property and unused order of service sheets.
- Make sure all guests have transport to the reception.
At the reception...
- Assist with car parking facilities.
- Offer drinks to the guests as they arrive.
- Assist any elderly or infirm guests.
- Help decorate newlyweds car
Afterwards...
- Return any hired clothing and accessories.
- Oversee transfer of all gifts to a secure location after
reception
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:: Father of the bride
As Father of the Bride, your key features of your role are
as follows:
- Give your daughter support, keep her calm and, above all,
make sure she gets to the ceremony on time!
- Ensure the cars arrive to take the bridesmaids, mother
of the bride and other members of the family to the ceremony.
- Assist your daughter into the bridal car, making sure
that her dress is not crushed.
- Walk her slowly up the aisle and if necessary place her
hand in the groom's as you 'give her away'.
- For register office marriages, the bride's father normally
escorts his daughter into the ceremony, although she can
chose for one of her attendants to carry out this role.
- It is traditional for you to sit in the front row during
the ceremony on the left-hand side.In most church weddings,
once the couple are officially husband and wife, you escort
the groom's mother to the vestry for the signing of the
register.
- After the ceremony, you move back down the aisle escorting
the groom's mother on your right hand side, and following
behind the bride's mother and the groom's father.
After the Ceremony
- Traditionally you do not ride with your daughter, but
take your place - usually in the third car - following the
bridesmaids and best man, or in the fourth car, accompanying
the groom's mother.
At the Reception
- The father of the bride and the mother of the bride, are
the hosts of the reception.
- In a formal receiving line, your place is second in the
line, after the bride's mother.
- If the bride and groom prefer to welcome everyone on their
own, your job is to mingle with the guests, circulate and
make introductions.
- During the Speeches (which usually take place after the
meal has finished and prior to the cutting of the cake)
you will the first person to speak.
- In your speech, you should welcome the guests, praise
your new son-in-law and congratulate the happy couple.
- At the end of your your speech, you should finish with
a toast to the bride and groom.
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:: Flower girls
- The flower girl traditionally walks in front of the bridal
party as they move down the aisle at the start of the ceremony.
- If the church permits, she can scatter petals or confetti
on the ground for you to walk through. Alternatively she
can carry a basket of confetti or petals during the ceremony,
which can be distributed outside at the end of the service.
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:: Ringbearer
- The ring bearer carries the ring or rings, often on a
cushion, to be presented during the ceremony. The ring bearer
is usually a child, can be male or female, and provides
an ideal way of invilving children in your ceremony.
- He/she can be dressed to match your other attendants or
have a completely individual outfit to make them stand out.
- An older child can also fulfil this role but can perhaps
hold the rings in their boxes instead.
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