« BACK: to 'Useful Resources' Page During the wedding reception, there are generally three people required to make those all important wedding speeches. They are, to begin with The Bride's Father, who is followed by The Bridegroom, and finally The Best Man. Generally, no further speeches are required although other speeches are permissible; it is becoming for more common that the 'Bride' makes a short speech either on her own, or together with the Bridegroom. It is also not unusual for the bridegroom's father to give a short speech of thanks to the host and hostess for the occasion, or the bride to have a "best woman" give a speech. If you're still not sure about it all, and you need some further pointers, why not have a look at these really useful Top tips for making a great speach

:: The brides father

The brides father should be called upon by the toastmaster (or the best man) to propose a toast of 'health and happiness to the bride and bridegroom'. Before doing so he would normally welcome the grooms parents, relatives of both families any other guests and welcome the groom to his family and say a few words about his daughter.

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:: The bridegroom

The bridegroom replies on behalf of himself and his bride, taking the opportunity to thank his parents for there love and care during his youth, for the start they gave him in life, and for their good wishes for his future and that of his wife. He will also take this opportunity on behalf of his wife and himself to thank all those present for their gifts.
Should there be any close members of the family who could not attend the wedding because of illness, they should be mentioned and be wished for a speedy recovery.
To conclude, the bridegroom will propose the toast of the bridesmaids, and thank them for a job well done, he may also present them with a small gift as a token of their appreciation.

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:: The Best Man

It is the best man's duty to respond to this toast on behalf of the bridesmaids, his speech should be light hearted and fun. It should be the high spot of the reception and it is very often his ability to make this particular speech, with humour and interest, that is the deciding chapter on the selection of the best man. (no pressure then!)

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:: Top tips for making a great speech

take note
As soon as you know that you will be making a speech at the wedding - usually some time in advance - get into the habit of carrying a notebook round with you so you can jot down any thoughts, memories etc that could be worked into your speech. The best ideas often appear at the most inopportune moments...

structure your speech
Don't try writing it all in one go! Break down your words into the different areas you want to cover e.g. thanks to the guests, stories about the run-up to the wedding, stories about the groom, words for the bride, winding up etc. Take the jottings from your notebook and see where they fit in the plan.

sorted - in triplicate
Anxiety about losing the text of your speech can ruin a whole wedding morning. Have three or four copies done, and give one each to other guests to look after. It's impossible that they will all lose theirs – and it will put your mind at rest!

make eye contact
...but not with everyone at once! Speak as if you were talking to one person, and address them directly. Of course, you want to look around the room, but always focus on one person at a time.

everyone's rooting for you!
It's true: this is a wedding, and although the scale of the occasion might seem initially daunting, this is in many ways the easiest public speaking opportunity of all. Everyone is on your side, no one wants you to do badly.

practise - on tape
Reading your speech out again and again - preferably to other people – is essential when practising. Listening to a recording of yourself can be useful too. Listen out for any sections where you speak too fast, or where the point you’re making is unclear, and revise accordingly.

speak to both sides
Make sure your speech is accessible to everyone present. Many people will know only half of the wedding party (if that), and they may not even know you. In-jokes and favourite anecdotes should be told so that everyone can enjoy them - so explain any un-obvious references as you go.

don't rely on memory
You may have practised your speech so hard that you're sure you know it by heart. Keep your text handy anyway - the stress of speaking can sometimes cause people to forget their lines.

be brief
Brevity truly is the soul of wit. Some speakers plan optional sections that can be cut if the speech isn't doing too well. At any rate, you should time your speech and stick to it - five minutes is perfectly long enough.

but they didn't laugh....
Keep jokes and anecdotes short, so that if one doesn't work, you can swiftly move on to the next. And don't laugh at your own jokes - you'll soon know whether you've scored a hit!

get your stories straight
Often a bride and groom may have a story in their past that lends itself to a good anecdote. But if the story is at all well known, check with the other speakers just to make sure that your material doesn't duplicate anyone else's.

language barrier
Although to you your speech is something written, to your guests it will come across as something spoken. So make sure your language is not too stiff or formal. Change all the 'could nots' to 'couldn'ts' and make free with the first person!

it's not a speech...
In most people's mind, the word 'speech' is associated with great tension, formality and the need to perform well. Thinking of it instead as a conversation at a largish dinner party, or simply as a few words to wish some friends well will make the whole thing seem less intimidating.

waiting game
Actually sitting there waiting for your moment to come is probably more stressful than the speaking itself. Once you're up and away, the momentum of the speech tales over and you'll start to relax once you hear a laugh or two. So while you're waiting, repeat your first line to yourself. It also helps if you can get involved in the other speeches - really make a point of listening and responding to them. Before you know it - it's your turn.

it's your call
There are traditions and customs about who should speak and what they should say, but if it suits you feel free to ignore any or all of them. Do the speech on your own terms, and you'll achieve the best effect. So if you only want to give a brief toast rather than a huge spiel, fine. If you're best man and you don't feel like humiliating the groom, fine too. It's up to you.

breathing space
When people speak or read in public, they have a marked tendency to race on too quickly (and not to realise). So it's a good idea to insert the word 'PAUSE' or, if you're using cue cards, to insert blank cards that will automatically slow you down.

doing the introductions
If you have a toastmaster, he or she should take care of introducing each speaker. Otherwise, this is the best man's job. Make sure that each speaker is introduced by name and position before they start - this will stop guests talking among themselves as they try to work out who's speaking.

not now...
Whenever you do the speeches - at the end of the meal is the norm in this country - make sure that nothing else is going on, that all the clearing up has stopped etc. Speakers need undivided attention!

preparing the speech
When putting a speech together, always bear in mind at what point your speech comes in the order of play. Do you need to cover certain subjects? Are you speaking on behalf of anyone? Do you need to address certain themes? Will you need to reply to another speaker/toast? These considerations should help you plan your words.

full stop
However silly or serious your speech, it's always a good idea to end on a toast. It's something for you to work towards and, for the guests, it's an immediately recognisable punctuation point.